Troy

TROY (15)
D: Wolfgang Petersen
Warner Bros. (Wolfgang Petersen, Diana Rathbun & Colin Wilson)
US/UK/Malta 2004
163 mins

Adventure/Historical

W: David Benioff [based on "The Iliad" by Homer]
DP: Roger Pratt
Ed: Peter Honess
Mus: James Horner
PD: Nigel Phelps
Cos: Bob Ringwood

Brad Pitt (Achilles), Eric Bana (Hector), Orlando Bloom (Paris), Diane Kruger (Helen), Brian Cox (Agamemnon), Sean Bean (Odysseus), Brendan Gleeson (Menelaus), Saffron Burrows (Andromache), Peter O'Toole (King Priam), Julie Christie (Thetis), Rose Byrne (Briseis)

A rather insipid variation on an ancient legend, with some woefully miscast performances and a screenplay littered with unconvincing dialogue.
Just short of three hours long, the story feels crammed with way too many characters and scenarios, but still finds a way to get in all the major plot points of Homer's classic poem, even though it rushes through some of the more iconic parts (The Trojan Horse, etc).
Brad Pitt's performance as Achilles is very much tailored for the actor and feels false, especially with stilted, cringe-worthy dialogue delivered with an unconvincing accent. It's fair to say even the actor himself feels embarrassed with his performance. Orlando Bloom is completely miscast as Paris and Diane Kruger, though absolutely stunning as Helen of Troy, is given absolutely nothing to do except stand inert and look beautiful. The best performance of the movie comes from Peter O'Toole as ageing king, Priam, particularly in a scene where he begs for the body of his fallen son, a scene of such dramatic impact that it really belongs in a completely different film. 
The period detail, photography, costumes and visual effects are of the quality you'd expect from a big budget Hollywood blockbuster, but this is still very much dumbed down for the masses, whereas a more classical approach would have made a much better experience.
5/10

Eric Bana & Orlando Bloom in Troy
Eric Bana & Orlando Bloom in Troy