G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRAÂ (12)
D: Stephen Sommers
Paramount/Spyglass/Hasbro (Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Bob Ducsay
& Brian Goldner)Â Â Â
USA 🇺🇸 2009
118 mins
Action/Adventure
W: Stuart Beattie, David Elliott & Paul Lovett [based on
characters created by Hasbro]
DP: Mitchell Amundsen
Ed: Bob Ducsay & Jim May
Mus: Alan Silvestri
Channing Tatum (Duke), Marlon Wayans (Ripcord), Sienna Miller
(The Baroness), Christopher Eccleston (Destro), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Cobra Commander), Lee Byung-Hun (Storm Shadow), Rachel Nichols (Scarlett), Ray Park (Snake Eyes), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
(Heavy Duty), Dennis Quaid (Hawk)
It was inevitable that after Transformers hit the cinemas that
another of the cartoon series of the 1980's would get the big screen treatment. This movie however is not a faithful rendering of that childhood favourite. The screenwriters obviously didn't
watch the cartoon and clearly used wikipedia to do their research.
Stephen Sommers' direction is as ham-fisted as Steven E. de
Souza's effort on the Streetfighter movie, but where de Souza can be forgiven for being a directorial debutante, Sommers had pedigree, having directed the first two Mummy movies. The action
scenes are very badly photographed & edited, so much so that it's difficult to tell what's going on. The visual effects aren't terrible but are terribly visualised, most of the action takes
place in darkness and shadow. The only watchable set piece is the Paris scene which goes on and on like a Peter Griffin chicken fight.
The casting is completely uninspired. Dennis Quaid does his
best with what little dialogue he's given, whilst Channing Tatum gives Keanu Reeves a run for his money as the most wooden action performance of all time. Marlon Wayans is irritatingly miscast
and the less said about Sienna Miller the better. Everyone else just seems to be there to pick up a paycheck and a credit.
Having nothing to do with its source material, this becomes
just another generic action movie with yet another way to destroy Paris. America 1 France 0... Yeah, Go Joe!
4/10